on: life & relationship

not too long ago, india.arie made an appearance on 106 & park to talk about her new album. in the course of the interview, she was asked why she subtitled the album "love and relationship", with 'relationship' being singular instead of plural. i'm writing about it because i remember her reply bein pretty damn tight.

she basically said that she wasn't speaking on EVERY relationship, but rather that ONE relationship that we all have (or will have) that completely changes us. she went on to say that all of us will have that one relationship in our lives that marks a big changing point, whether the relationship works out or not. men will always remember that woman with whom he became a man. women will always remember the man who showed them the beauty of their womanhood. and THAT, though love may have preceded, and greater love may follow, is the relationship. its like a bigass paradigm shift, ya dig? (okay so EYE said some of that, but thats the point she was makin).

so... (you already know what i'm gonna say next)

that got me to thinkin.

have i had my relationshiP (no 's') yet? that's an interesting question, with both answers havin some unique ramifications. if i HAVE had my relationshiP, that could be a bad thing. does that mean that this, the way things have been for me, are the best that they're gonna get? am i already in the midst of my 'love denouement'? if thats the case then the future looks pretty damn bleak, no? shit.

*pause* yo, in writin this, i have already used "paradigm", "ramifications", and "denouement" in sentences. RESPECK MY LITERARY GANGSTA!! *unpause*

what if i haven't had my relationshiP yet? does that mean that i'm destined to go through even MORE shit with these women than i already have? not sure if i'm signing up for that. furthermore, i hate to sound stuck up, but i think i'm already a pretty damn good catch! i feel like my life and relationships have taught me a lot, and all that experience makes me pretty good boyfriend material (at least thats what all the girls that break up with me say *smh*). so what paradigm shift is there left for me to go through? i like bein in love, but i don't know that i'm prepared to go through too many more changes in pursuit of it, ya dig?

if i were to assume that i HAVE had that relationshiP, who would it be? i think i'd have to say Kedra was that one. i had a lil bit of everything with that girl. she was there to help me through some of the lowest times i've been through, sometimes without even knowin she was helpin. now, she was also the CAUSE of some major low times for me, but hell i gave her a fair share of head and heart ache myself. and that was the ill part, cuz through all the stress & bullshit she still loved me. hell i believe she still loves me now. we had built somethin that doesn't just go away. and i'm better for having had the experience.

of that relationshiP.